


Onward and Upward

by MaggieRose



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: F/M, M/M, The latter pairing is mainly implied, Written pre TRK, also gwenllian appears for like 2 seconds so whatever, also we all know who the major character death is let's be real, just fuck me up, no beta and minimal proofreading my apologies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-04-19 20:38:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4760183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaggieRose/pseuds/MaggieRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ronan brings things out of his dreams mainly by accident, even now. When he pulls out his best friend two weeks after watching him die, it's an opportunity for a great number of loose ends to be tied.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Onward and Upward

**Author's Note:**

> So I mainly blame Elsa for this, as she was the one who sent me a tweet about Ronan pulling a new Gansey out of his dreams in the first place. I do, however, take full responsibility for taking that and running with it to Angstville, USA.

                Ronan had spent the previous two weeks sure that he was living in a dream, finally trapped inside one of the nightmares that had threatened to ensnare him all his life.

                Now, however, he finally had proof that the past two weeks had been real, because this? This was the true nightmare.

                Sitting on the foot of his bed, staring at him with confusion and a faint wrinkle beneath the bridge of his wire-framed glasses, was Richard Campbell Gansey III.

                Ronan sat up slowly, panic building in his chest. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that if he went downstairs right then that he would find another Gansey, resting inside an urn that none of them had been able to bring out to Cabeswater yet. He knew that if he went to the forest right then that he would find a pile of uncountable wasp carcasses, unchanging and unmoving in Cabeswater’s cruel magic. He knew that if he went to 300 Fox Way right then, he would find Blue on her bed staring dead ahead, tear tracks burned into her face and her room destroyed by her fury and grief.

                Similar scenes existed all throughout Ronan’s world; his surroundings bore the same marks, as did Adam’s tiny apartment and Noah’s room down the hall. Noah, who was indeed so much more when he was alive, so much more fury, so much guilt and despair to take out on Monmouth. He was the only one who had said a single word since Gansey’s death, a stream of curses and pleas into Owain Glyndwr’s stony face before the Welsh king had turned away from the horrified group and walked into Cabeswater’s uncharacteristically silent trees. After that, Noah had screamed until his vocal chords gave out. The others could relate:  aside from barebones explanations Adam had forced out to the necessary authorities, none of them had said a thing. At his own funeral, Gansey’s four closest friends in the world had sat in the back of the church and hadn’t made a sound.

                Gansey was here now, but he didn’t break the silence either. Instead he simply stared at Ronan before rising methodically from the bed and gazing around the destroyed room. He stopped on Chainsaw, sitting inside the twisted remains of her cage. She cawed softly, and he walked to her to gently stroke her head. She hopped out of the cage and onto his shoulder, and the two of them turned to Ronan, staring not at but rather into him the way only dream things could, before turning and walking silently out of the room.

                Ronan knew he should follow, go make sure that his own manifested fuck-ups didn’t come into contact with anyone else they could traumatize, but instead he walked to his window and watched as Gansey walked from Monmouth to his car, parked at a haphazard angle at the edge of the empty lot. Gansey stared at the Pig for a moment, and then he reached into his pocket and pulled out the keys. He got in and started the car, and the sound of the engine turning over was what startled Ronan out of his reverie. As the Pig pulled out of the warehouse lot and headed away, Ronan scrambled for a pair of shoes and his own car keys. If Gansey was headed where Ronan knew he was, than that was his sign to take care of some very important things.

*****

                The sight of the urn in Ronan’s hands was all it had taken to get Noah and Adam into the BMW, but as they pulled up in front of 300 Fox Way the three of them froze up again. The neon sign advertising psychic services in the window was dark, and the house gave off an aura more suited to a funeral home than to the lively and colorful residence it was supposed to be. After a paralyzed moment, the front door to the house opened and revealed a face none of them expected to see. Gwenllian, with uncharacteristic solemnity, nodded to the BMW and turned away, shutting the door behind her. Two minutes later, Blue exited the house wearing only a long black dress, her hair less artfully mussed and more rats’ nest. She looked dressed for a funeral because she was: the boys, despite being clad in the same tank tops and boxers they had worn under their suits, had at least managed to undress following Gansey’s funeral the week before. Blue hadn’t even been able to do that. She got in the back seat and immediately turned towards the window. She didn’t look at the urn in the front seat, and she didn’t look at any of the boys. Her reflection in the glass showed that she had her eyes closed, and she kept them so for the duration of the drive to through Henrietta. Her home town was no longer the backdrop to her childhood, but rather one massive reminder of everything she had lost.

                When they stepped out of the car at Cabeswater, Chainsaw flew out of the trees towards them and landed on the arm Ronan instinctively stretched out to meet her. The Pig was parked neatly a few feet away.

                Adam was the first to realize the implications of its presence, and he stepped towards Ronan to take his hand. Blue understood next, and took off into the forest like a shot. Noah stiffened at Blue’s burst of activity, and when he followed her Adam and Ronan did the same, fingers linked and hearts pounding in their chests.  They found her stopped dead at the edge of the clearing, chest heaving and tears pouring from her widened eyes, locked on the center of Gansey’s back where he knelt before the pile of wasps.

                Slowly, Gansey stood and turned to face them.

                His glasses had slipped slightly down his straight bridged nose, and his khakis had grass stains from where he had knelt in the grass. One of his topsiders was unlaced. In one hand was a handful of the fabric of his favorite yellow sweater, bunched just above his heart. In the other was a wasp, pinched between two fingers.

                He dropped the wasp and strode past Blue, Ronan, and Adam to get to the edge of the tree line where Noah was standing, then grabbed Noah’s hand. He dragged him forward into the light of the clearing before enveloping him in a bone crushing hug. They stood like that for a moment, Noah looking shocked, and then Gansey stood back and stared at Noah with an inexplicable grin plastered on his face. Then, finally, Gansey broke the silence.

                “I’m glad you’re alive.”

                At that Noah broke and sank to his knees, quietly sobbing. Gansey looked on helplessly as Blue walked to Noah and wrapped him in her arms, followed by Adam. Gansey looked up at Ronan, who hadn’t moved, and then down to the urn he still held under one arm. Ronan set the urn down, then walked over and dragged Gansey down to join the others. The five of them sat like that for a long time, sat until Noah’s tears had dried up and until their arms were sore from holding each other.

               Eventually, Gansey let go of his friends and stood to go retrieve the urn, resting in the grass where Ronan had left it. The Raven Boys and Blue disentangled themselves and watched him stare down at it, unmoving.

                He turned back and locked eyes with Blue, who went to him immediately. Gansey stepped back and grabbed her face in his hands, then leaned down and kissed her the way he had always wanted to: unhurried and unfearful. She threw her arms around his neck and pressed herself as close to him as she could.

                Ronan, Adam, and Noah, looked away. The two of them deserved this moment to themselves. Really they deserved so many more moments together, all of them did, but that was impossible now. It had been impossible since before any of them were born.  Owain Glyndwr had cursed them the day he was laid to rest along their ley line.

                When Blue and Gansey broke apart they stared at each other for a long moment. Then, Gansey walked over to Adam and handed him the keys to the Pig.

                “Please drive it, Adam, that car deserves more than to dust in an empty lot for years. Give the original keys to Blue, she gets to drive it whenever she likes. Same goes for Noah.” Gansey smirked faintly in Ronan’s direction, and added, “Ronan, however, can only drive it in extreme circumstances.”

                He clapped Adam on the shoulder, then changed his mind and pulled him close. They hugged for a long moment, and then Gansey pulled back and looked between Ronan and Adam several times.

                “Take care of each other, if not for yourselves than for me,” he said, and then stood before Noah and put a hand on each of his shoulders.

                “I don’t regret it,” he told him seriously, “and you shouldn’t either. I borrowed too much of your time, Noah, it was time to give it back.” He hugged him, briefly, then walked back to pick up the urn.

                He looked up at Ronan, then, and smiled sadly.

                “Thank you, Ronan, for giving me this chance.” He looked down at the urn, then back up at Ronan and the others. “Can you ask Cabeswater for some wind?” He glanced over at the pile of wasps and scowled. “Please tell it to get rid of the wasps, too, they’re disgusting.”

                Ronan snorted, though it sounded more like a sob, and did as Gansey had asked. The Latin flowed off his lips and gradually a breeze began to flow through the trees. It accelerated steadily, picking up the wasp corpses and carrying them into the darkness of the forest beyond. When the wind had reached a speed he deemed acceptable, Gansey lifted the lid off the urn and tossed it aside. Wordlessly he beckoned the others over, and somehow they all five managed to get a hand on the urn before Gansey tipped it forward.

                They watched as the ashes caught the breeze and swirled away, seemingly in pursuit of the wasps. When the urn was empty, Gansey took it and replaced the lid.  He began to walk away, then turned back to look at them one last time.

                “I love you,” he said simply.

And then he too walked into Cabeswater’s untouchable darkness.

                Blue, Adam, Noah, and Ronan were once again silent as they journeyed back to the BMW and back to Monmouth Manufacturing, but now their silence was not one of grief and shock but one of acceptance. Eventually, they would take the time to actually go through Gansey’s things and be able to deal with the stories each of them told. Eventually, they would return to Cabeswater and get the Pig. Eventually, they would heal as best they could.

                For now, though, they could go back to Monmouth and begin to talk for the first time in weeks. They could talk about Gansey, and Glyndwr, and dreams, and they would slowly begin to stitch up their wounds. They weren’t going to heal yet, but they could start.

                Even in death, Gansey had an uncanny ability to spur them to action.

                They all knew that Ronan would never pull another Gansey from his dreams. Privately, Ronan wondered if he would ever pull anything out with him again, or if his final purpose as the Greywaren had been served. Oddly, the thought didn’t trigger any strong emotions in him at all. More than anything else, Ronan felt more at peace than he had since the morning he found Niall Lynch dead on the pavement.

                For the last time, Gansey had followed in Glyndwr’s footsteps, more literally than ever before but with more meaning than before as well. He was gone now, but his friends remained.

                As soon as could, Ronan was going to get a new tattoo. A word this time, just one:

                _Excelsior._

                               

 

**Author's Note:**

> For more of me screaming into the void about the Gangsey and various other nonsense, you can find me on tumblr at  
> kiss-kiss-suck-my-ass.tumblr.com. My raven cycle tag is /trc


End file.
